Most Ridiculous Story Ever – III
Jonah, a prophet, doesn’t want to go to Nineveh as God has ordered. So he hides on a boat (kind with oars) belonging to some Gentiles. Remember, he’s hiding from God. God sends a terrible storm against the boat (because that’s easier than just dealing with Jonah directly) but Jonah is sleep and the storm doesn’t wake him (!). The Gentiles on board pray to their gods and cast lots (to which god, Baal?) and discover that Jonah’s presence on board is the cause of the storm. First – How do you cast lots on board a ship being pitched back and forth during a terrible storm? Second – Which god informed the Gentiles that Jonah was the cause of the storm? Certainly not the Christian god who had nothing but contempt for Gentiles. Finally the Gentiles toss Jonah overboard. A ‘great fish’ swallows him. This is clearly some type of whale but very few are capable of taking in something as large as a human. Jonah spends three days and nights in the whale’s belly, and yet the gasses and acid and lack of oxygen doesn’t kill him. Eventually, after many prayers, God compels the whale to vomit Jonah up onto the beach. Jonah 1, 2.